


The Gay of Marmora

by Hayleythewriter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn, lots of awkward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hayleythewriter/pseuds/Hayleythewriter
Summary: Keith is working with the Blade of Marmora, but he keeps in touch with his Voltron fam. Especially Paladin Lance. Rumours start to spread.Who knew the Blade of Marmora were such gossips?





	1. Chapter 1

Ram had been working with the Blade of Marmora for just about forty years, and in all his time living with the organization, he’d heard his fair share of screams. Screams of terror, screams of pain, screams of loss or frustration. But this- these shouts coming through his bedroom wall- were not any type of screaming he could recognize. He couldn’t make out any words, but the two loud contrasting voices made it sound like an argument. This needed to be investigated.

He exited his room and took two steps toward the bedroom to his left, the source of the screaming. The shouts sounded like they were getting softer, until he eventually couldn’t hear anything at all. Without a second thought, he pounded his fist against his neighbor’s door. 

The slick grey metal slid open, revealing young Keith, the newest Blade recruit. It was still jarring for Ram to see this life form, after spending his entire life surrounded by his Galra brethren. He had heard that young Keith was half Galra, but unlike other hybrids he’d seen, he had no visible Galra traits anywhere. 

“Hello?” Keith had to crane his neck to meet Ram’s eyes. 

Ram grimaced, “I am Ram. I am looking for the source of the screams I heard through the wall.” 

Keith seemed to grow taller as his shoulders tightened and his eyebrows rose, “Oh, you heard-? Uh, it was nothing. I was just using my communicator to speak to a paladin of Voltron. I didn’t know you could hear.” 

“Are the paladins in trouble? Pain, terror, frustr-“ 

“No,” Keith quickly interrupted, “Not at all. I was talking with Lance, he’s a paladin, and we started fighting. But nothing is wrong! We just argue sometimes. Since I left.” 

Ram blinked, with a cold curiosity in his yellow eyes, “If you argue, why do you still communicate with him?” 

“Because I miss him,” Keith responded before thinking. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he visibly cringed. What a stupid thing to say. 

Ram understood immediately, “Ah, he is your mate.” 

“No!” Keith choked out the word. Ram must have a lot of leg strength, to jump to a conclusion that crazy. 

“Oh,” Ram’s voice lowered in grim recognition, “this is why you argue? He does not wish to mate with you.” 

“Yes,” Keith spoke, then thought, then spoke again, “I mean- we’re not mates. Alright?” 

Ram nodded once, deeply, “Yes. I wish you well on your mission tonight.” 

Keith shook his head, as if trying to physical shake this conversation from his memory, “Yeah, thanks, Ram.” 

\- 

Dinner was a usual affair for Ram in the large cafeteria. Blade of Marmora members sat scattered around the dimly lit room, seated at circular, metal tables with room for roughly four Galra. Mumbled conversation floated through the air, while members picked at their issued dinner plates and sipped drinks that would’ve made a lighter weighted species pass out after one sip. 

Jored, Flex, and Cal sat with Ram, and eagerly listened as he explained to them the strange conversation he had had with their newest, youngest recruit. 

Jored, with the large scar going from his left ear to his right cheek, was the first to react, “Mating,” he spat, disgusted, “that sort of talk is frivolous.” 

“Because you’ve never done it,” Flex snorted. Out of their ragtag group, Flex was always the most easily amused, and usually by himself. 

“Slander,” Jored spat and scowled at his dinner plate. 

“I’m the only one here who’s ever had a mate,” Cal pointed out, his long white braids sprawled on his shoulders. 

“Untrue,” Flex spoke with his cup in hand, splashing some liquid onto the table, “I have had mates across many planets.” 

“Young Keith is pursuing one mate,” Ram explained to the table. “It seemed to upset him greatly.” 

“There are ways to win affection,” Cal said thoughtfully, “I could tell him what actions he must take to secure the heart of his potential mate.” 

“I know much more about securing hearts than you,” Flex argued. 

Cal tipped his head forward, “You do not know about affairs of the heart, only affairs. I shall assist Keith at my soonest convenience.” 

Jored shook his head and muttered, “Useless.” 

\- 

The next morning, Keith woke up exhausted. Last night’s mission had been a complete success, but he was pretty sure he tore a muscle . . . everywhere. He rolled over and buried his head deeper into his pillow. There was a knock at his door. His mind instantly flashed back to the incredibly awkward encounter he had yesterday with his neighbor. He almost pretended to be asleep, but when the knocking continued insistently, he had no choice but to get up and answer the door in his crumpled black sweatpants and tshirt. 

It wasn’t Ram. It was a tall Galra with dozens of small white braids, red markings on top of his wide ears, and a serious expression that every Blade member seemed to wear behind their masks. 

“I am Cal. Ram made it known that you need help with your mate, Lance.” 

“What? No! Lance is not my mate!” Keith couldn’t believe this was happening. Why was this rumor circulating the ship? How many people thought this insane, crazy, stupid statement was true?! He needed to set the record straight. 

“Right, of course,” Cal remembered that Lance was not yet his mate. That would be fixed soon enough with his help. “Hmm. You are a rather small specimen, but I was only 50 kilos bigger than you when I pursued my mate. It can be done without impressive strength. Now, your small ears may prove challenging to ignore. Perhaps we could arrange for surgery-“ 

“My ears are fine,” Keith cupped his hands protectively over both ears, not liking the eager gleam in Cal’s yellow eyes. “Lance is not my mate, he was my fellow paladin. He would never, ever think of me like that.” 

“But would you?” Cal stared down at him, “Think of him ‘like that’?” 

“I. . .” Keith stopped speaking as the question washed over him. He had thought about Lance before, and a lot more now that he only got to speak to him for a Varga a day. But did he think of Lance like- 

From behind Keith, a loud ringing cut through the air. The screen mounted on his wall lit up with Lance’s name. 

“I should answer that,” Keith said, before stepped back into the room and letting the metal door separate him and Cal’s question. 

Keith glanced in the mirror on his nightstand and smoothed down his bedhead. Then he accepted the call, and suddenly Lance was staring at him through the screen. His smile made Keith’s room feel brighter, and his dark blue eyes looked Keith up and down like he forgot he could be seen as well. 

“Hey, Keith. Keeeeeith.” 

“Hey,” Keith sat on his bed, suddenly grateful Cal had woken him up before this call. 

“Keith,” Lance got closer to his camera, his eyes filling the whole screen, “You won’t believe what happened here. Coran’s been on drugs for like, weeks!” 

Keith’s jaw dropped, “Coran has a drug problem?” 

Lance leaned back and nodded vigorously, “Apparently! He started taking them because he wanted to make our Voltron Show TM even better. I told you about the Voltron Show, right?” 

“Yeah, tell me about the drugs that Coran is on,” Keith insisted. Yesterday, their fight had started from a conversation about ‘Lover Boy Lance’ so he really didn’t want to talk about the Voltron Show. He hated arguing with Lance, and after his stupid gossipy neighbor, he was more determined than ever to keep their conversation friendly. Emphasis on friend. 

“Well, he’s not on the drug anymore!” Lance started bouncing his leg, “Bi Boh Bi destroyed the little alien drug inside Coran’s brain.” 

“What the fuck is a Bi Boh Bi?” Keith raised an eyebrow, and Lance laughed. 

“Bi Boh Bi is the cutest alien I know,” Lance titled his head to the side and playfully smirked, “Well. The second cutest.” 

Keith could recognize flirting when he heard it. He rolled his eyes, “Is Allura in the room?” 

Lance laughed the comment off with ease, “Um, actually, I was talking about Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. A movie that Pidge recently downloaded, by the way. Yeah. Be Jealous. I betcha wish you stayed now. Does the stupid, dumb Blade of Marmora have movie nights?” 

“No, we stick to pillow fights and spin the bottle,” Keith joked with a deadpan delivery. 

“Sounds like you stay very busy,” Lance grinned, and pulled a pillow from behind him onto his lap. He put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his hands, “You’ll have to show me all your new skills at our next movie night. Which you’re totally coming to, nonnegotiable. The Blade surely believes in vacation days. I’m probably way better at pillow fighting then they are anyway. And I know I’m better at spin the bottle.” 

Keith felt something. He couldn’t identify the feeling, or maybe he just didn’t want to. He blurted the question that had come to the front of his mind, “Do you think my ears are too small?” 

Lance’s easy smile was quickly replaced with furrowed eyebrows and a crinkled nose, “What?” 

“Nothing, never mind,” Keith tried to backtrack. Cal had messed with his head. 

Lance straightened up and let his pillow slide to the floor, “Where did that question come from? Are you on drugs? Keith, has Coran sent you any baked goods recently?” 

“Just forget it!” Keith snapped. He stared into Lance’s eyes as they looked Keith over for the second time this conversation. 

“Your ears are definitely not too small, Dumbo.” Lance teased. Then he paused, suddenly serious, “Have you seen Dumbo?” 

Keith stared blankly, “Is that a movie?” 

Lance sighed dramatically, “I’ll tell Pidge to download that one next.” 

Their conversation continued from there, and before Keith knew it, Lance was saying goodbye to go get ready for their show. The closest they got to shouting was their briefly heated debate over pineapple on pizza (which Keith is vehemently opposed to, like a sane person). 

When Lace hung up, the screen went black. 

His room looked so big. Empty. 

Keith didn’t want to think about Lance anymore, which lead him back to Cal’s parting question. In what way did he think of Lance? Keith grabbed his pillow, shoved his face into it, and screamed. 

\- 

The four, Ram, Jored, Flex, and Cal, were sitting in a square ship, scouting out a Galra Empire base that they were about to infiltrate. The base was abandoned, but the blade was big on precautionary scouting. Several other blade members were already inside the base, on the top floor. Ram, Jored, Flex, and Cal were to break into the basement and download precious information. 

“I heard Keith scream again last night,” Ram casually mentioned from his spot in the pilot seat. Flex and Cal perked up at the new information. Jored ignored them all. “But his screams sounded muffled somehow. As if trying to hide the sound.” 

Flex hit Cal on the back, “Perhaps your sage advice is needed after all.” 

Cal grimaced, “I tried to speak with him already, but it was more difficult than I expected.” 

Jored slammed his fist on the wall of the ship, “The whole lot of you are dishonoring the blade with this pointless, stupid chatter. We need to focus on what’s important. It’s time to go.” 

The infiltration had been so carefully planned, that it was easy to tell the moment it all went wrong. The four had barely step foot in the basement, when fiery explosions were heard from up above. Instantly, the comms in their helmets were live with the shouts of the Blade members on the top floor. Galra Empire spies had appeared, ready to destroy the entire base. Flex, Ram, and Cal rushed to help the other Blade members, but Jored remained in the basement with his USB. He shoved the stick into the old Galra hardware, and instantly the screen came to life with a loading rectangle that was only at 1%. . . 3%. . . . 

Jored could hear the fight through his comm. The basement celling began to shake when the computer said 40%. The basement celling began emanating heat when the computer said 75%. There were screams in Jored ear, his friends, demanding that he abandon the basement, saying that the whole base was about to collapse in a fiery death. The computer said 98%. The moment it slowly loaded to 100%, the celling began to collapse on Jored. This was it. This was his death. Jored closed his eyes and felt the first blow to his head. 

Suddenly, Keith appeared. He grabbed Jored, grabbed the USB, and began running through the burning rubble of the base. He swerved to avoid falling chunks of celling, all while dragging the disoriented Jored at his side. 

Jored was gravely injured. His Blade suit had done little to protect him from the flaming chunks of celling that had fallen onto him. Keith supported most of his weight as they both flew from the decimated base into the safety of the retreating Blade of Marmora cruiser. 

“Jored!” Ram shouted, as Keith and Jored collapsed onto the metal ground. Every Blade member who had been on this mission suddenly halted their conversation, and stared at the two returned heroes. 

“He needs to go to med care!” Keith took off his mask while keeping a steady arm around Jored. 

“Thank you, Keith,” Flex spoke as Ram and Cal moved to carry their friend. 

“We can take him from here,” said Cal, as the four shuffled toward the med bay. 

Keith coughed into his elbow and felt his shoulder groan in protest. What he wouldn’t do for a trip in the healing pod. The Captain of the mission, Novtom, stood in front of Keith with a look of fury. Keith had disappointed enough authority figures in his lifetime to recognize That Look. 

“Another careless play. One more step out of line-“Captain Novtom reprimanded. 

“We couldn’t leave him! And the information!” Keith interrupted passionately. Wrong move. 

“No.” Captain Novtom whispered furiously, “YOU couldn’t leave him. These sort of attachments are not what win wars. The orders we are given are given to us for a reason, and you continue to ignore them.” 

“But I saved his life,” Keith pointed out, because he had issues with getting lectured at by his supposed superiors for doing the right thing. It was like being back at the Garrison. 

Captain Novtom sneered. “I’m not sure how your leaders of Voltron ran their ship, but while you are a member of the Blade of Marmora, you are excepted to act like a member of the Blade of Marmora. That requires obeying the orders of your commanders. In this instance, your recklessness worked in your favor. In the future, you will not get so lucky.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the sweet comments! :) this is going to be a multi chapter fic for sure!

Keith was pacing in his room. Physically, he was wiped out, completely exhausted, and every joint begged him for sleep after his long, scalding shower. But mentally, he was fired up. His mind spun with several clever retorts that he had not given to Captian Novtom a varga ago. He was pissed off. He was restless. He needed something to make him feel better than this maddening state he was in.

He needed to talk to Lance. 

Keith tapped at his screen, and punched in the code for Lance’s communicator. The dial buzzed, and buzzed, and buzzed, and never went through. Lance didn’t accept his call. 

Keith stepped away from the screen, like it had just reached out and slapped him across the face. In all the time he’d been gone from Voltron, he and Lance had talked almost every day. If they didn’t, it was always Keith’s fault. Keith had missed Lance’s calls plenty of times, because of various missions, or training sessions, or any number of Blade activities that kept him out of his room. But Lance had never, ever not answered Keith. Once, while in battle, Lance had picked up- and obviously when Keith realized why he sounded so distracted he had immediately hung up. But Lance always answered him. 

He could call Shiro. He talked to Shiro every week under the pretense of coordinating Voltron and the Blade’s plans, which typically became joking around and catching up after a few dobashes. He could call Hunk or Pidge. At first, his daily talks with Lance were his daily talks with Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. Though he had spoken to them in quite a while, he knew if he typed in their communicator code they would be happy to talk. 

But Keith realized, he didn’t want to talk to Shiro, or Hunk, or Pidge. He didn’t want Allura, or Coran, or anyone else in the whole universe. 

He wanted Lance. Lance McClain, with his smile, and his jokes, and his intelligence, his loud opinions, his thoughtful strategies, his kind heart, his beautiful face. Lance really was beautiful. 

As soon as he had that revelation, Keith felt his stomach drop. He needed Lance. He wanted Lance. And if he let himself think about it, really dive deep into himself, he realized that he’s wanted Lance for a long time. 

Keith sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. How. How could he let himself do this? And now? These feelings had to come rushing to him _now_ , when he was lightyears away from Lance? But he knew that really, the distance didn’t matter. Keith wouldn’t be able to tell him how he felt even if he was inches away. 

There was loud knocking on his door. 

Keith took a deep, steady breath, and went to answer his door. Standing before him were the towering, muscular, Ram, Cal, and a third Galra whom Keith was pretty sure was named Flex. 

“Young Keith,” Ram spoke up, “we wanted to express our gratitude.” 

“Jored is one of our oldest, dearest friends,” said Cal, solemnly. 

“Please, allow us to repay you,” Flex begged. 

“Perhaps if you debrief us on the mate you desire, we could be of more assistance.” Cal suggested. 

Keith stared at the three Galra, and had a very freeing thought. Out of everyone he knew in the entire universe, these three Blade of Marmora soldiers were the least likely to ever encounter Lance. He could never tell Shiro, Allura, or anyone back at the castle about his feelings. There were no secrets between paladins. Keith eyed Flex, who seemed trustworthy enough. Well, Keith wanted to vent. And here were three pairs of willing, furry ears. 

“How could I describe Lance?” Keith began. “Well, annoying, at first. And then he’s. . . still pretty annoying. He’s arrogant, but self-deprecating, and he loves being the center of attention. He’s also very good at pay attention to everyone else. He can cheer up anyone.” Keith recalled their recent conversations and understood with a jolt, “even me. When I really need it.” 

Ram cleared his throat, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but might we come in and sit down? This seems like it’s going to be a while.” 

It felt like a therapy session. Keith sat on his bed and told them all about Lance. Starting with his first memory of the guy, a vague recollection of a cargo pilot, and ending with their last video chat conversation. The three Blade of Marmora members were surprising fantastic listeners, occasionally offering a sympathetic ‘oh’, and gasping at the more intense moments. When he was done, the three promised to think over all the new information and come up with a solution for the strange predicament Keith found himself in. Keith smiled at their kind offer, but deep down he knew that he was never going to act on his stupid crush. Nevertheless, word vomiting had done Keith a lot of good, and he felt a precarious sense of peace. 

Ram, Cal, and Flex bid him goodnight, and Keith finished getting ready for bed. He couldn’t wait to finally lay down and get some much-deserved sleep before another inevitable day of training. 

His head barely hit the pillow, when suddenly his screen lit up and began to ring. Lance’s name flashed, enticingly. He didn’t have to think twice before jumping out of bed and accepting the call. 

“Hey,” Keith blurted, adrenaline pumping in full force. He should be sleeping- hell- he should have been sleeping vargas ago, but something about seeing Lance after finally coming to terms with his crush felt like seeing Lance for the first time. It was so exciting he had to stop a dopey smile from overtaking his face. 

Lance grinned, obviously sensing Keith’s uncharacteristic enthusiasm, “Hey, man. Sorry I missed your call earlier. I just saw.” 

“It’s fine. I ended up talking with some Blade members. It was actually nice.” 

“Did you play truth or dare?” Lance smirked and rolled up the sleeves of his navy long sleeved pajama top. Keith was just tired enough to let himself enjoy Lance’s forearms. 

“7 minutes in heaven actually,” Keith responded, eyes cutting back to Lance’s face. Lance’s laugh was like a double shot of expresso straight to his already pounding hearrt. God, Keith felt like an idiot for not deducing his crush earlier. It seemed so obvious, now. “So why didn’t you pick up?” 

Lance straightened considerably, puffing up like his chest had just been inflated, “Actually, I was preoccupied after a Voltron Show. Several, nay, dozens of beautiful fans wanted to get up close and personal with Loverboy Lance.” He struck an eloquent pose, then added, “It’s me, I’m Loverboy Lance. It’s what all the ladies call me.” 

Keith’s stomach turned sour, “I’m sure.” So Lance had once literally mid-battle for his life answered Keith’s call- but some random alien flirts in his direction and he lets Keith go to voice mail? 

“Yeah, you should totally come see a show sometime,” Lance said, for the millionth time, “If my crowds of adoring fans are any indication, It’s really good.” 

“Yeah,” Keith said, suddenly tired. This conversation wasn’t going where he wanted it to go- but what had he been expecting really? Just because he was suddenly, pathetically pinning over Lance, didn’t mean anything between them actually changed. They were friends. Who ignored calls when they needed to flirt with their adoring fans. 

“It’s just, so crazy how I- we haven’t seen you in months. What if you’re almost as tall as me now? I’m just kidding, shorty. But seriously, come to the castle. Or come to a show. Or maybe the blade needs, I don’t know, Voltron assistance sometime-“ 

“Shiro and I handle the Voltron and Blade stuff,” Keith interrupted him. Lance’s easy smile looked a little less easy. 

“Yeah, I know,” said Lance. “But, um, you must miss seeing Shiro in person though, right?” 

Keith closed his eyes, and tried to push down his frustration, “What are you talking about?” 

“Just-“Lance stopped himself. Then he sighed. “I just thought you could swing by the castle, and we could see you in person. But that’s probably a stupid thing to ask, since you’re obviously super busy with your super important blade of whatever stuff.” 

“Yeah, I am. I know it’s not autograph signing and selfie taking, but I like to think the actual missions I’m going on are pretty important,” Keith folded his arms, daring Lance to contradict him. Half hoping they’d argue and half fearing they would. 

Lance rubbed a hand over his eyes and then stared, tiredly, straight at Keith, “It’s late. You should probably go to bed.” 

Keith was way ahead of him, already standing and reaching for the power button. “Yeah, I probably should. Goodnight.” 

“G-“ Keith ended the call before Lance could complete the word. 

Exhausted, disappointed, and angry, Keith finally crawled into bed and turned off his lights. He felt like he fucked up, even if he couldn’t explain exactly how. Maybe when he repeated their conversation back to Ram, Cal, and Flex, the four of them could figure out the moment when everything went wrong. 

\- 

Training ended, and Keith was feeling better. Nothing like pushing yourself to the brink of your physical limits to distract yourself from wishful thinking. He left the training room, and immediately noticed Ram, Cal, and Flex huddled together down the hall. 

He hesitantly approached the three, unsure if they really wanted to hear anymore Lance rants, but when he got closer they opened up their huddle and seemed to be waiting for him. He stepped into the empty space, and Cal immediately launched into his well thought out speech. 

“We have done much strategizing,” said Cal, looking down on Keith intently, “and we debated and discussed the steps that need to be taken in order to win the heart of Paladin Lance.” 

Keith snorted. His feelings seemed even more trivial in the harsh light of the hallway, “Look, the things I said last night was just, a release of pent up frustration. I don’t need to win any hearts, alright?” 

Flex scoffed, “You disgrace your Galra heritage, Keith. You cannot back down now that you have begun your seduction.” 

“Nothing has begun,” Keith quickly assured. 

“Excellent,” Cal continued, “because we have decided the first step! You will be talking to Lance later today, correct?” 

Keith internally cringed thinking of their last talk, but he and Lance had fought before via screens and they always called the next day. Today shouldn’t be any different. “Yes, but,” 

“Then when you begin your talk today, you must bring up the act of mating!” Cal sounded extremely proud of himself. “The Galra release pheromones when aroused that are irresistible to any mate.” 

“He won’t even be in the same room as me,” Keith squinted, “and I can’t just bring up mating. He’ll think it’s weird.” 

“Maybe initially, because he does not associate you with mating,” Ram said, assuredly, “Yet. But once you discuss it, and his own human pheromones are released, he will begin to consider you as a potential mate!” 

“It’s a brilliant, strategic first move,” Flex nodded, and slapped Keith whole heartedly on the back. Keith staggered a little at the force, but then gave a tentative smile. 

Maybe these three Galra were right, and maybe bringing up sex will change their dynamic forever, instantly making Lance fall for him like a cupid’s arrow through the brain. Or maybe Lance will literally laugh his ass off when Keith tries to segue into the sexual. But maybe, knowing them, they’ll both find someway to turn the topic into a huge argument. 

Really, what did Keith have to lose? And besides, if things got weird, he could end the call and blame a last minute mission. 

Keith let Cal, Ram, and Flex’s confident expressions give him strength, “You know, what. I’m ready to make the first move.” 

Keith took a longer shower than normal, and by the time he returned to his room he saw that he had four missed calls from Lance. Oh, great. He called Lance back, who picked up half way through the first ring. 

“Keith!” Lance blurted as soon as his image appeared on the screen, only the top half of his thin grey t-shirt and up visible. He looked a little out of breath, like as soon as his communicator rang he had run to his room to answer it alone. 

“Hey,” Keith said, more than a little curious as to why Lance had called him so many times. Maybe he thought of some really good comebacks that he hadn’t gotten a chance to use last night. “I saw that you-“ 

“Yeah, I called you a bunch of times,” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, “I just felt really bad about last night. I know you love being apart of the Blade of Marmora. And, listen, I feel terrible that I missed your call. I love these calls.” He looked surprised at the words that had just come out of his mouth, “I mean, yeah. I should have answered it. And from now on, I always will.” 

“It’s fine, Lance,” Keith said softly, “I know you guys are busy, too. I missed, like a hundred of your calls today. It’s fine if you have to miss mine sometimes. Like when you’re literally fighting in a battle.” 

“That was one time! And if you hadn’t hung up, we could’ve finished our conversation- I’m an excellent multitasker,” Lance proclaimed, jutting out his chin. Keith had to laugh. Then he remembered his own task that he was supposed to be doing, assigned by the resident mating experts. Right. 

“So. . .” Keith trail off, his mind unhelpfully going through alternatives. _Have any sex recently? What’s your favorite song about sex? Let’s talk about sex, baby._ Keith’s thoughts grew more frantic, reaching for something to say, while Lance stared on completely oblivious. 

“Oh my god,” Lance leaned forward, “You know Kaltenecker?” 

“The cow?” so not the direction Keith was going for. 

Lance looked offended, “She’s not just ‘the cow’ Keith, she’s family.” 

“I see the resemblance,” it was a cheap shot, but he couldn’t pass it up. Lance stared flatly for a moment, and then resumed his animated speech. 

“ANYway, I’ve been milking her because I do everything in this family, and guess what? Hunk made milkshakes! He’s made a bunch of different flavors too, and they’re so good! You have to try one. They’re honestly better than any milkshake I’ve ever had. They’re better than any dessert I’ve ever had!” 

“Are they better than sex?” Keith asked, proud of that very smooth segue. Well, he thought it had been a smooth segue. Lance’s immediate confusion made him question how smooth it had actually been. 

“Better than- what- I-“ Lance’s shock melted into narrowed eyes alight with suspicion, “Is this your socially awkward way of asking me if I’ve had sex?” 

“Uh,” Keith had nothing to say. He had brought up sex, but he didn’t feel any pheromones. Unless pheromones felt like a rising wave of panic. 

“Because I totally have,” Lance continued, sounding a little panicked himself. Maybe that was all pheromones were, “A lot. And with many people. And they loved it. They told me.” 

Still not the direction Keith was going for, but closer. “Oh. So, better than milkshakes?” 

“Wha- yes, obviously, Keith, better than a milkshake. Oh my god. Wouldn’t you know?” 

“No.” 

Lance snapped to full attention, “You’ve never had sex?” 

“I’ve never had a milkshake,” Keith clarified, casually. Lance gave a little nod. 

“Right. Of course you haven’t. It’s probably all protein powder and kale with you.” 

“More like canned food with a side of peanut butter,” Keith smiled without heart, “When you live alone in the desert, there’s not many opportunities for milkshakes.” 

“Or sex,” Lance layered the word with nonchalance. 

Keith couldn’t argue that, “Right.” 

And then there was silence. The ‘act of mating’ had officially been brought up, but he didn’t feel any closer to dating Lance. Was that what he even wanted? What was he hoping for in this conversation, exactly? He hoped Lance would end this suddenly suffocating silence. Ticks passed. Keith decided to let his instincts take over, willing to say anything to destroy the quiet. 

“So where did you learn how to milk a cow?” 

Lance stopped spacing out, and blinked, trying to process Keith’s new question. “No one ever really- wait. Are we still talking about sex?” 

“No!” Keith said, much too loudly. “I was talking about Kaltenecker. Just forget I ever brought that up.” 

“Why did you bring it up?” asked Lance, narrowing his eyes. 

“I-“ Keith did not have an answer. Well he had an answer, but not one he could actually give Lance, “I was curious?” 

“About my sex life?” Lance spoke over Keith’s quick protestations, “You want to know which of us is more skilled? I’ve wondered the same thing myself.” 

Keith stopped his protestations, and raised his eyebrows, “You wondered what?” 

Lance’s continued hastily, “Because obviously I am way better than you at so many things, it’s not surprising that I’m better than you at romance. I mean, you have a mullet. That automatically subtracts 20 points of sexual appeal.” 

Of all the ways Keith had speculated this conversation might go, he hadn’t been able to predict Lance turning it into a competition. He really should’ve seen this coming. 

“And besides,” Lance continued, “If you wanted to know my sexual history, you should’ve just come out and asked. I mean, you kinda did. You’re the least subtle person ever, Keith. So, since you’re so _curious_ , I’ll tell you. I had several hooks up at the Garrison.” 

“But you haven’t had sex with anyone in space?” Keith asked, his curiosity overcoming all other embarrassing hurdles. 

After a beat, Lance responded, “No.” 

_Do you want to?_ Keith thought, but refused to say on the grounds that he would probably spontaneously combust in mortification. 

“Why?” Lance turned the tables of the interrogation, “Have _you_ had sex in space?” When Keith didn’t respond immediately, Lance immediately jumped to conclusions, “You have?!” 

“No,” Keith dismissed him, trying to shake the distracting idea out of his head, “Relax.” 

Lance took offense to that, “Relax? I’m the most relaxed I’ve ever been in my life.” 

“Right,” Keith took in Lance’s tensed shoulders and tightened jaw. 

Lance, clearly upset, folded his arms, “If you wanted to ask me for help with space sex, feel free, Keith. It’s fine. I’m sure there’s space condoms in this castle somewhere.” 

“I don’t need space condoms.” 

“Safe sex is extremely important, Keith, especially space sex! We have no idea the types of Unidentified STDs that are out there. There are some places a healing pod might not be able to heal. Plus, we wouldn’t want any surprise pregnancies. I don’t know where to buy space diapers.” 

“Well, I won’t get anyone pregnant.” 

Lance let out a single laugh, “yeah, famous last words, followed by ‘I should’ve listened to Lance and packed a space condom’.” 

“I mean I’m not going to have sex with any girls.” Keith explained, fighting the discomfort clawing at his insides. He had come out to Shiro back at the Garrison, with similar lack of forethought. Shiro had smiled with an embarrassing amount of pride, wrapped Keith in a huge hug, and swore that everything Keith was feeling was totally normal. Lance wasn’t smiling. He looked a little awestruck. Like he’d never seen Keith before. 

“You’re gay,” Lance said, with quiet respect. “I mean, Pidge told me, but now it actually feels real hearing you say it.” 

“How did Pidge tell you? I never-“ Keith cut himself off, realizing that Pidge’s god-like methods of deduction had probably figured him out months ago. If Pidge told Lance, she told everyone. “Nevermind.” 

“I think it’s great!” Lance was suddenly enthusiastic, “And even though I sort of knew, I’m really glad you told me. I should tell you- I’m bisexual. As in I like girls and boys.” 

“I know what bisexual means, that’s what Shiro identifies as.” 

“Shiro is bi?!” Lance grinned, and Keith glanced away from the screen. Maybe he shouldn’t have outed his best friend. But why was Shiro’s sexuality less obvious than Keith’s? Whatever, Keith could apologize the next time they talked. “I can’t believe I have a bisexual buddy in this very castle that I never knew about! We should start a club.” 

“With two members?” 

“Hey, that’s only for now. The Holts are both to be determined. Hunk is pretty hetero, but Coran and Allura are ambiguous. I wonder if Alteans had the concept of LGBT. I should ask.” 

“Ask about space condoms.” 

Lance smiled and laughed through his nose, “So you admit that safe sex is the best sex!” 

“I’ve only had it once, so I don’t have anything to compare it to,” Keith admitted. 

“At the Garrison?” 

“Yeah,” Keith wondered if they could have this conversation in person. If he could handle having Lance in the room, talking about sex, without closing the distance between them. It would be an exercise in discipline. 

“So who was the guy? Was he a talented fighter pilot you knew, or was it just a random, nameless hook up that didn’t mean anything to either of you?” 

“His name was Brandon, I think,” Keith added the ‘I think’ but he definitely knew. He didn’t want Lance to think he was still pining after some random guy from Earth. Brandon wasn’t nameless, but he was meaningless. 

“Brandon!” he clearly wasn’t meaningless to Lance, “Brandon…whatever his last name was. The cargo pilot! He was a _cargo_ pilot?” 

Shit, Keith had a type. “I don’t remember, Lance, it was a long time ago. He was cute.” 

“Cute!” Lance glared at Keith, “Brandon? He was the worst pilot in our year.” 

Keith shrugged, “Our grades never really came up.” 

Lance huffed. Then spoke, “You know Tyler Garret? He was a fighter pilot. He was almost as good as you. And me, obviously.” 

Keith frowned, “Um, yeah, I guess vaguely.” 

“Well, he and I, in his dorm.” Lance nodded, and wiggled his eyebrows. Then to make sure Keith really understood added, “We had sex. And once in the showers.” 

“That’s great, Lance. Congratulations.” 

“He’s more impressive than some stupid cargo pilot!” 

“You were a stupid cargo pilot!” 

“I know!” Lance shouted, then immediately closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “Look. I should get going.” 

“Me too,” Keith lied. He hated conversations that ended on a sour note. Communicating through a screen made it so much easier to walk away. They had butted heads in the past, but before Keith had left they’d been the closest they’d ever been. Though their screens were connected, it felt like they kept missing each other. 

“I’ll tell Hunk to save you a milkshake,” Lance promised and disconnected the call before Keith could let him know he was lactose intolerant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short lil chapter because I've been super busy with essays recently! But I swear I will finish this story :) And I want to thank everyone who commented on the fic so far!! Comments totally make my day! :) :)

As soon as Lance had disconnected the call, Hunk and the Holts burst into his room.

“Did you convince Keith to come visit?” Matt asked, eagerly. 

Lance was much less eager, “No. Not even close.” 

Hunk let out a long sigh, while Pidge narrowed her eyes. Matt just looked disappointed. Lance regretted ever telling them about his crush. He felt bad enough without layering their distress on top. 

“C’mon, Lance. Getting you and Keith together in person is the first step in our plan,” Pidge complained. 

“I know that,” Lance huffed, “but it’s a bad plan.” 

“It’s our only plan,” Hunk reminded everyone. 

“And it’s a good one,” Pidge assured him, “Keith just needs to come back and then-“ 

“Look, I really appreciate you guys trying to help,” Lance cut her off, “But it’s useless. Keith is never going to like me, alright?” 

“Lance, I’m sure that’s not true,” Matt said sympathetically. 

“I know it’s not!” Hunk grabbed Lance by the shoulders, “We have everything ready! Romantic candles, romantic strings of light, a romantic table cloth!” 

“But Keith isn’t here.” Lance stepped away from Hunk. “So none of that matters.” 

Pidge smacked her fist into her palm, “We’ve been working on Operation Klance for a month. We can brain storm new solutions. Maybe you could go to the Blade and we could bring a romantic atmosphere there. Or we could kidnap Keith when he’s on a mission- or when he’s sleeping! Matt could hack into their security while Hunk and I-“ 

“Pidge,” the sad acceptance in Lance’s voice stopped her mid-plan. “It’s time to give up. Keith and I are friends, and that can be enough. If it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen. So, consider this the official end to Operation Klance.” 

Hunk gazed, sadly at the floor as Matt wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulder. Pidge stared down Lance, but eventually, accepted defeat. “Fine.” she snapped. Lance nodded, satisfied. Suddenly, Pidge’s eyes flashed with determination, “We’ll stop trying to get you and Keith together, and finally focus all of our efforts on Matt and Shiro.” 

Lance chuckled at Matt’s weary expression, and waved as the three walked out of his room. His door had barley slid closed before he collapsed on his bed with his head in his hands. 

Hunk, Pidge, and Matt started walking toward the kitchen, their favorite scheming location due to the easy access to snacks. 

“Just so we’re all on the same page, Operation Klance is still a go. Just undercover.” Pidge said, slyly. 

Hunk shook his head, “We should call it Operation Leith.” 

Pidge crinkled her nose, “When you make the operation, you name the operation.” 

Matt nudged her, “Smart thinking using me and Shiro as a cover.” 

“Oh no, that wasn’t fake. Operation Shatt has also officially begun.” 

“Okay, that name is perfect,” Hunk laughed as Matt glared at both of them. 

-

“How did the call go?” Flex asked the next day as Keith joined him, Cal, and Ram at their table in the dinning room. 

“I brought up ‘mating’ but it didn’t work,” Keith grumbled at his trey of purple unidentified food. 

The three looked stricken at the failure. Cal shook his head. 

“It is alright, Keith.” Said Cal, “This was but step one. There are many more strategies we can deploy.” 

“I know what your step two should be,” Ram made a fist, “Challenge him in hand to hand combat and he will see you are a strong and worthy life partner.” 

“You have never had a mate, so you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cal scoffed at his friend, “Hand to hand combat comes after the mating ceremony.” He turned to a confused Keith, “Do not worry. I know how you will win over Lance. Serenade him with music crafted only for his ears.” 

Keith couldn’t sing to save his life, and he quit trumpet after sixth grade. “Music isn’t going to work out. Any other ideas?” 

“Of course,” Cal remained adamant, “I’ve mentioned this before, but if we could alter your appearance to make you more desirable-“ 

Keith covered both his ears, “I’m not getting surgery!” 

Cal grimaced, “I assure you, the process would be quick, and affordable-“ 

“Good looks are not necessary to capture hearts,” Flex frowned at Cal, and then turned a cunning smile toward Keith, “I know a perfect plan to make Lance your mate. We must make him see you with another potential mate, and when he sees how desirable you are, his lust will consume him!” 

Keith blinked. “That sounds complicated.” 

Flex slapped Keith on the back, “Mates are complicated! I would know, I have many!” 

Ram chuckled as Cal scowled. Ram spoke up, “It is a brilliant plan. Keith, you would be wise to follow it.” 

“I don’t know you guys. . .” Keith suddenly stood up from the table, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. I appreciate your help and all, and I really appreciate you listen to me complain, but I don’t want to trick Lance into ‘mating’ me. I’m just gonna go start today’s training.” 

“But-“ Ram started. 

“I’ll see you guys in there,” Keith didn’t spare them a second glance as he left the table, leaving his tray of barely touched lunch behind. 

The three shared a knowing glance. 

“We are still going to help Keith and Lance become mates, correct?” Ram double checked that they were all sharing the same thoughts. 

“Obviously,” Cal and Flex answered in unison. 

\- 

That night, their call went smoothly. 

“Shut the hell up, you lying liar-face,” Lance exclaimed like a passionate lawyer arguing for the biggest case of his career, “And admit that you love Phil Collins’ soulful music!” 

“I watched Tarzan once, years ago. I barely remember-“ 

“The heartfelt tunes of Phil Collins are unforgettable. That soundtrack is God’s gift to humanity, Keith, and I’m not letting this go until you admit it goes hard. Or until you sing a verse of Trashing The Camp.” 

“There’s no lyrics in Trashing The Camp!” Keith shot back, incredulously. Lance pointed a finger buzzing with adrenaline. 

“Aha! So you do remember!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an alliance is formed in the name of true love!

“Hey, Keith.”

The light from the screen lit up Keith’s bedroom. Lance was smiling, at him. Talking through video had it’s pros and cons, but one of the best parts was knowing that Lance’s undivided attention was focused directly on him. Lance was only looking at Keith, which meant he was the cause of every smile. The cause of every laugh. It made Keith feel like fireworks were exploding in his chest every time Lance’s grin filled the screen. 

“Hey,” Keith smiled back. Another night, another video chat. The best part of every day. 

-

Pidge roughly shoved Matt away from her portable screen, “Shut up! We can’t hear what they’re saying!” 

Hunk started petting a strange little fluffy creature that apparently lived in Pidge’s bedroom. “That’s because they’re not even talking.” 

“Yeah, sheesh,” Matt straighten himself and rubbed his arm, his little sister even stronger than he remembered. Maybe he ought to take Shiro up on his numerous offers to start training. Then they could finally be physically matched. 

“Everyone just shut up,” Pidge responded, bringing her screen closer to her face. She had hacked into Lance’s communicator, _out of love,_ so she, Hunk, and Matt could listen in on their conversation and figure out Operation Klance 2.0. 

Matt quietly studied the screen, half of which showed Keith with a soft, dopey smile, the other half showed Lance staring lovingly back. Jeeze, these guys were so obvious. Finally, Lance spoke up. 

“So how was your last mission?” 

“Pretty good. I was actually assigned to a group with three guys I already knew.” 

Lance raised an eyebrow, “Are you now BBFLs? Blade Buddies For Life?” 

“Yeah,” Keith played along, “I think we’re making friendship bracelets after we get our matching tattoos.” 

“What sort of tattoo would Keith Kogane get?” Lance mused. 

“’I Love Lance’ on his forehead,” Matt offered. 

“A red butterfly on his lower back,” Hunk snorted. 

“Oh my god, both of you, seriously, shut it.” Pidge tried to raise the volume on her portable screen, but it was already raised to maximum sound. Damnit. She needed to invest in some headphones. 

“I’d probably get a hippo on my ankle.” 

Lance choked on his laughter, “What? That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard!” 

Keith shrugged, “I don’t know. I think it could be inspiring.” 

“What’s inspiring about a hippopotamus?! It’s fat and lazy.” 

“More like strong and cool! Hippos are Earth’s mightiest warriors. They’re just underrated.” 

“Keith, you are absolutely not getting a stupid-ass hippo tattoo. A tattoo should be something meaningful, and important, and beautiful.” Lance snapped his fingers, “I know! You should get my face tattooed on your back!” 

Matt and Hunk leaned toward each other and high-fived, since their guesses were pretty close. Pidge ignored them. 

“So you’re forever behind me?” Keith teased. 

Hunk gasped and Matt snapped his fingers. Pidge continued to ignore them. 

“I- uh- no!” Lance shot back, with his classic quick wit. “Why don’t you get my face tattooed over your face so it’ll actually be good looking.” 

“What sort of tattoo would you get?” Keith asked, suddenly serious. 

Lance knew his answer immediately, “359. 56. 39.4.” 

Keith blinked, “Numbers? What do they mean?” 

“It’s the galactic coordinates for Earth,” Lance said softly. 

“Aw,” Hunk pulled the little fluffy creature onto his lap, and petted it like a dog. 

“Dude,” Matt put a hand to his heart in silent appreciation for Lance’s tattoo of choice. 

Keith just slightly widened his eyes, “Oh.” He looked to the floor, “Well, now a hippo tattoo seems a little stupid.” 

Lance’s mouth quirked upward, “Yes! I’m glad we’re finally on the same page. If you really want an animal, you could get a little red lion. Or like, its paw or something.” 

“Shouldn’t you get that, since you’re the real pilot of the red lion,” Keith said. 

“Hey. You’ll always be the red paladin to me.” Lance’s face lit up in excitement, “Hey, we could get matching ones!” 

Pidge suddenly muted the screen, much to Hunk and Matt’s disappointment. 

“What are you doing?” Matt asked, as Pidge propped the screen on her pillow and turned her attention to her friends. They could see Lance gesturing animatedly and Keith laughing, though the couldn’t hear anything. 

“I just thought of a better plan. We don’t need to spy on them anymore, because we already know what sort of cheesy crap they talk about.” Pidge pushed up her glasses, “I think we should reach out to Keith ourselves! If he knew how Lance felt, he’d make the first move.” 

Hunk grimaced, “Yeah, I don’t think we should spill Lance’s secret like that.” 

“Secret?” Matt asked, incredulously, gesturing to the screen, where Keith was now talking and Lance was leaning his chin on his hand listening intently, “He practically has cartoon hearts for eyes, Hunk. If we don’t perform a 4 minute musical number entitled ‘Lance Wants To Get in Your Pants’ I don’t think Keith will ever know.” 

“Why don’t we just convince Keith to confess?” Hunk offered. 

“Bottom line, we need to get to Keith.” Pidge rubbed her chin, and turned back to the screen. Hunk and Matt looked over each of her shoulders. Pidge poked Hunk’s arm, “Okay. I got it. Hunk, you need to go distract Lance for five minutes. Matt and I will slip into Lance’s room and talk to Keith, once we see that Lance is gone.” 

“Great plan, Pidgey,” Matt grinned. 

Hunk looked at the Holts flatly, “Am I the distraction because you two are going to spill Lance’s secret?” 

Pidge and Matt shared a glance, before turning their most innocent faces back to Hunk. “Nooooo,” Pidge drawled. 

Hunk glanced up, “If Lance finds out, tell him I’m not guilty.” 

Pidge put a reassuring arm around Hunk’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. You’re just an accessory in our crime.” 

Hunk got off the bed and headed toward Lance’s room, calling over his shoulder, “You get five minutes, Holts!” 

Pidge and Matt studied the screen, still muted. After a few moments, they saw Hunk enter in the doorway behind Lance. He and Keith talked for a little, and then Hunk and Lance left the room with a quick wave. As soon as Lance’s door slid closed, Pidge and Matt ran to Lance’s room, leaving Pidge’s portable screen behind. 

When they opened the door and stepped in, Keith wasn’t on the screen. Instead, there were three Blade of Marmora members, stoically staring into the camera. 

“Who are you?” Pidge blurted, upset that her plan was apparently compromised. 

“Are you paladin Lance?” one of the Blade members with long white braids and red markings on his ears asked. Another blade member hit his arm. 

“Obviously, not, Cal! Don’t you recall, Paladin Lance has blue eyes that shine like sapphire, and perfectly moisturized skin!” 

“Who told you-“ Pidge cut herself off, as she and Matt came to the same realization. 

“Keith!” Matt blurted, delightedly. 

“So you know paladin Keith,” the third blade member spoke up, “Then perhaps you could assist us. I am Ram.” 

“And I am Flex,” said the second member. 

“We want to help Keith become Lance’s mate,” Ram explained. 

“Where is Keith?” Pidge asked, suspiciously, before Matt could do a victory dance. 

The three Blade of Marmora members shared a sheepish look. 

“We decided to override his communication signal, so that we could talk directly to Paladin Lance ourselves,” said Cal. 

“It was my idea,” said Flex, proudly. Matt laughed. Pidge grinned diabolically. 

“Let me give you the number to my communicator,” a light reflected off Pidge’s glasses, “That way we can talk for longer.” 

“Excellent, but,” Flex leaned in closer to the camera, “Who are you?” 

Pidge grinned, “I’m Pidge, a paladin of Voltron, this is my brother, Matt.” 

“But that question isn’t important,” said Matt, “you should be asking what can _we_ do to help _you_ , help Keith and Lance.” 

\- 

Three days later, their plan was ready to be set in motion. Pidge and Matt cornered Lance in the castle, officially initiating step one. 

“What?” Lance said, with the same tone of voice he used when anyone began talking about anything involving multivariable calculous. 

“Allura is sending the three of us on a mission,” Pidge said, sweetly, “Why do you sound so confused?” 

“I thought we weren’t really doing the whole mission thing for a while,” said Lance, turning away from Pidge’s angelic smile and narrowing his eyes at Matt, “And why would Allura send you guys to tell me?” 

“Because she’s busy helping others,” said Matt, “She’s Allura. She’s out there, 24/7, on that grind-“ 

“Yeah, anyway,” Pidge interrupted, “The point is, the three of us need to immediately go to a planet called Mookera. Allura’s orders. We can all take the green lion.” 

“What is the mission?” Lance couldn’t help the suspicious rising within, “Why would Allura send Matt and not Hunk? And why would we only take one lion?” 

Pidge held up a pointer finger, ready with her rebuttals, “One, we are going to a big, busy shopping center to buy important wires made of a rare metal that Matt thinks would work with our Altea tech which brings me to- Two, Matt would actually recognize the rare metal we’re looking for.” 

“I worked with the metal during my time with the rebels,” Matt nodded, “and I’m pretty sure the Altea stuff I’ve seen is compatible.” 

“And three,” Pidge continued, “We’re only taking one lion because. Hunk is cleaning red. And he wanted to surprise you. So just come with us in green, alright?” 

Lance melted a little, “Aw, what a guy! Hunk is the best friend ever.” 

Matt slapped a hand on Lance’s back and Pidge impatiently started pushing them toward the lion hangers, “Yeah he’s a real gem, now let’s go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the comments I've gotten have been nothing but sweet and wonderful~! Writing this is so fun and I'll try to update quickly! :) :) :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been soooo long since an update :) I was inspired to work on this story again after reading some really wonderful comments! so here's chapter 5! I promise chapter 6 will be the last chapter, and it'll be up much quicker than this one.

Lance was sandwiched between Pidge and Matt inside the green lion. He was still a little unsure about why he specifically was needed for this wire pickup, but maybe the Holts just wanted a Sharpshooter with them incase they ran into trouble. Pidge was piloting, sort of carefully, but she probably just didn’t want himself or Matt to critique her flying skills. Oh well. At least going to another space mall should be fun. He glanced at the speed gauge, and then did a double take. Pidge was going half the speed she should’ve been. That was ridiculous.

“Why are you flying so slow?” He asked suddenly. 

“I thought Matt would want to enjoy the view,” Pidge replied easily. “Right, Matt?” She hit Matt lightly with her foot, and he quickly turned and looked at the window like it was hanging in an art gallery, nodding slightly in appreciation. Lance raised an eyebrow and looked out the same window, seeing the same endless expanse of stars that surrounded every location in deep space. 

“Whatever, weirdos. Just wake me up when we get there,” Lance said, and leaned back in his seat. This, apparently, was going to take a while. 

\- 

“Flex, what are you doing?” Hunk was trying to pay attention to the neon green spaghetti currently cooking on the stove top, but with Flex in the kitchen that was practically impossible. 

“I’m making the food you told me to, Paladin,” Flex said with his back to Hunk. 

Hunk stopped stirring and investigated himself, “I told you to butter the bread, dude. Why did I just hear the blender— oh no. Oh, this is bad.” 

Flex was surrounded by foods, some of them Hunk had never seen. He must have brought them himself. Inside the blender, the special milkshake blender, Flex had created a concoction that looked probably poisonous, but definitely disgusting. 

“I’m making Moothie,” Flex confessed, “I just know that it’s energizing properties are going to be needed tonight. Trust me on this.” 

“I don’t know,” Hunk studied the drink uneasily. 

“Moothie is delicious,” Flex insisted, “and we drink it quite often before missions. Keith and Lance will appreciate it.” 

“Did that just blink at me?” Hunk asked, backing away from the blender. 

Flex frowned, “Perhaps I did not blend the octo-cat well enough.” 

“Oh God,” Hunk turned slightly green, “Dude. We can not serve that.” 

“If you can serve your strange, tentacle food, I can serve them Moothie.” 

“Tentacle?” Hunk titled his head and then widened his eyes, “The spaghetti!” he rushed back to the pot, but the delicate space food had turned brown, and stuck to the bottom of the pot. 

Hunk groaned. 

In the dining hall, Ram and Cal were taking care of the decorations. They took one look at the décor that Pidge, Matt, and Hunk picked out, and decided that it simply wouldn’t do. They needed to create an atmosphere that would inspire Lance to declare Keith his mate. Small electric lights on string, flowers, and strange red shapes were not going to do it. 

Ram and Cal went on a quick shopping trip, and then started their decorating. 

Hunk headed toward the dining room, trying to shake off his frustration. “Hey, guys?” he stepped into the room, “I need to go pick up some more— quiznak.” 

“We have almost completed our mission,” Ram said, with a small smile. 

Cal held open his arms, “Are you impressed?” 

Hunk did a slow spin, “This is— how did— but what about—” 

“Your décor was unsatisfactory,” Cal said stiffly. “So, we got our own.” 

Hunk was going to be sick. The walls were smeared with thick purple slime. There was a big white banner reading ‘mating season’ in neat black font. Pidge had spent ten minutes convincing Hunk and Matt that they needed balloons, but the ones they’d picked out where no where to be found. Instead, there were floating heads of various taxidermy monsters. 

The table for two was surrounded by circle of rocks, and onto of the table were two cafeteria dinner trays and two giant knives. 

“This looks like a horror movie!” Hunk sputtered, “Why are there rocks? Why are there dead things? And what the quiznak is on the walls?” 

“It’s Pelly,” Ram said unphased by Hunk’s panic, “it has a sensual smell, and has been used to induce Galra mating in the past.” 

“I don’t trust the stuff,” Cal leaned toward Hunk, “But do you like the rocks? The rocks were my idea.” 

“This is terrible and I hate all of it,” Hunk said flatly. 

Ram folded his arms, and his biceps buldged. Cal glared, and slightly exposed his fangs. 

Hunk quickly backtracked, “We need to make some changes, but there are definitely some things that are really good.” 

“Like the rocks?” Cal growled. 

“Love the rocks,” Hunk nodded, “They’re great. Gotta keep the rocks.” 

The three worked swiftly. Hunk knew he was leaving Flex in the kitchen alone, which couldn’t end well, but he decided that the dining hall required his full attention. Half way through an argument about the banner, Hunk got a text from Pidge. 

_Can we come back?_

Hunk immediately responded. 

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

But he was so worried that Pidge and Matt wouldn’t be able to stall, that he agreed to let the banner stay. Ram and Cal were much bigger than him, but that came in handy when it was time to hang up the fairy lights. 

Eventually, with a white table cloth, royal utensils, roses, lights, and ambiance music, Hunk was satisfied with their work. The rocks were weird, there was still some jelly on the walls, and that stupid banner was still on display, but hey. Maybe Lance and Keith wouldn’t notice. Hunk was pretty sure that they were the most oblivious people in the universe, anyway. 

\- 

“Matt, what is going on?” Lance turned in his seat. They were in the Green Lion again, but Pidge had stopped for her 5th bathroom break. 

“I don’t know,” Matt decided to play dumb, “Maybe Pidge drank too much water.” 

Lance put his head in his hands, “If you two are planning to kill me just do it already.” 

Matt sort of laughed, “I don’t know what you mean. We’re just headed back to the castle. Pidge has a small bladder, okay?” 

Lance started banging his head against his hands, “Is this a prank? If it’s a prank, it sucks. Seriously, Matt, I’m not an idiot. Is Pidge punishing me? What did she tell you?” 

Matt glanced out the window, but Pidge still hadn’t returned, “Uh, she’s passing a kidney stone. No— she’s pregnant.” 

Lance contemplated his options. If he wanted to return to the castle within the year, he needed to hijack this lion. But could he take both Pidge and Matt? He stopped banging his head and gave Matt a glance. Maybe if he took Matt right now— he could use the wire to tie him up. 

The Lion’s mouth opened and Pidge stepped inside. “I’m back.” 

Lance rubbed his temples, “Could we. Please. Go back to the ship.” 

She scoffed, “Yes, of course. That’s where we’re going.” She took her seat and tried to start up her lion. None of the lights turned on. 

She turned to her passengers, “Oh no. Looks like I need to do some quick maintenance.” 

“What the quiznak?!” Lance shouted at Green’s control panel, “Are you in on this too?!” 

\- 

Keith only left the Blade of Marmora on missions. Until now. 

“Jored, I. . . I don’t understand.” He was in a two person ship with the Blade member who’d only recently been let out of the medical wing. Jored. 

“Listen to me,” Jored continued piloting, staring straight ahead with perfect focus. But Keith could hear a slight tremble in his voice. “Flex, Cal, and Ram. They think they can help you, but they can’t. I know, because I was just like you.” 

“Where are we going?” Keith shifted in his seat, “You said this was about Lance.” 

“It is. Listen. Flex, Cal, and Ram, they’ve all had mates before. They’ve all acted on their feelings.” He started flying a little faster, “Not me. I never cared for that frivolous, mating business. My duty to the Blade has always been my highest priority.” 

“Where are we going?” Keith repeated, with a little more force. 

Jored frowned. “I was wrong, Keith. I’ve always been wrong. I turned down offers to mate— and I never pursued the heart I truly desired. I thought I was doing the right thing. He seemed happy, he had many mates across many planets. And I seemed happy with my work. But I wasn’t.” For the first time, he looked at Keith, “It took you saving me from certain death for me to realize that. Now, it’s too late for me. Flex would never— “ 

Keith’s eyes widened. Jored grimaced. 

“It doesn’t matter. But it’s not too late for you.” 

Keith thought about his words. “Thank you for telling me all this, but— Jored. Where are we going?” 

Jored turned back to his controls, “In a few doboshes, Cal, Ram, and Flex are going to call you and say there is an emergency, and you must come at once to the paladin’s aid. They are lying. It is just an elaborate ruse to get you to go to a . . . I believe Cal called it ‘sensual’ dinner with Paladin Lance.” 

“Oh my god,” Keith wanted to turn this ship around, immediately. 

Jored sighed, “I know. Those three, they’re trying to help you. And I know it seems, frivolous. It seems unimportant. But Keith.” He turned toward him again, “This could be the most important dinner of your life. If you cared about this Lance at all, you would go. Keith,” Jored closed his eyes, and took a shaky breath. Then, almost like it hurt him, he uttered, “please go.” 

Keith turned forward and asked, “how fast can this ship fly?” 

Jored smiled.


End file.
